i'm sorry i haven't wrote a letter yesterday.

sometimes there are pains that you can't get over with then you must urge yourself to completely forget about it because it would really really really do you no good. that's what happened to us yesterday. i thought that my turthfulness will be rewarded with yes, i love you more because you told me that. but it wasn't what happened. which to trace the roots, it would be my fault. i don't know. and i wouldn't want to analyze anymore. both of us had spears in hand pierced to each other. emotions were barbaric yesterday. but as what i've said, to urge ourselves to completely forget it because it would really really really do us no good.

and so we move on.

that's why maybe people tend to give up on each other because of getting fed up with being barbaric that's why they turn back to being civil with each other. i don't want to lose you because of just some fight that wasn't even worth fighting for. most of the time we are just slashing ourselves and blame the other for the pain. i hope it would never happen again. i don't want to lose you just because of the pains of distance.

if there is something that i want to see in the end, it's you.

i hope yesterday taught us a lot. i meant that literally and otherwise. it was yesterday that i realized how much i can hold on to us. Us? we should be learning faith again. learning to hope. learning patience over and over. we didn't end up badly yesterday though. it's still love that's what's left at the end of the day.