i am a broken mirror
my shards are everywhere
big splinters
small itty bitty chips
blunt edges
sharp borders
cutting, drawing blood
a thousand pieces
each containing a bit of me
alive
frenzied, desolate, wild
confused
lost
each reflecting the same
image
but each one different.
frantically
i searched for the perfect piece
that bore the flawless mirror image
until in one lone fragment
i saw a sliver of hope
brighter than a thousand suns
amidst the bits of stained glass
and for a single moment
i lived forever.
love is what is left at the end of the day.
From: melbourne, victoria, Australia
About me: i'm a wanderlust and a warrior of life. i have hordes of nomads and soldiers waiting to wander this sometimes barren and sometimes lush landscape of my head. i send them forth. they are my words. my weapon of choice: purple prose
posted by lei at 5:26 PM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
daydreaming
yellow sunlight
creeps beneath the door
erasing the night
dreams are of
black and white
we are under the blanket of green
with streaks of burgundy
your hair rains
on my face
my red breath runs
on the turf of your tan
we paint dreams
creeps beneath the door
erasing the night
dreams are of
black and white
we are under the blanket of green
with streaks of burgundy
your hair rains
on my face
my red breath runs
on the turf of your tan
we paint dreams
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
and then...
who i was and where i was at that moment was defined by my sadness. it was a heavy blanket pulled over my feet --- it kept me warm, too warm, but when i removed it, it damnedly felt cold. but it, too, was my source of comfort. though it weighed down on me, it provided me boundaries of safety, yet still gave me room to move underneath.
let it be said that my speaking about sadness as a comfort is strange, i don't care. for this time, after all my experiences, i have learned to recognize sadness as merely the momentary absence of joy. sadness is a season of my soul.
i have come to terms with this inevitable season, as i skipped along the path i chose to take. and like before, i have once again embraced it fully, exposing myself to a moment of raw vulnerability. and, just like before, i was certain that as furtively as sadness robbed me of joy, it would pass too, unnoticed.
no questions asked, because simply, there was nothing to be done about it, and nothing was required of me but to open my arms to it as it came.
so now, i shall take on whatever joy i have in its fullness; shall suck on every last drop until i have to concede that there's nothing left in the bottle. this time, i will face this joy with the same resilience as when i welcomed my descent into darkness, with the knowledge that it was necessary to face the worst of my fears and to allow my heart to cry out in despair and helplessness.
though i may not see it yet, there is a promise of light. it is there, has always been. that i can see in the dark: the shadows of loss, the wounds of battered hope, tell me that light is indeed there, though in less familiar form.
yes, this sadness is a comfort. i have gotten over the initial distress brought on by the recognition of defeat. nonetheless, i wallow in it, accepting that i will later on find joy by huddling in my sorrow. bathing in sadness is an act of courage i have carry out, to remember the monsters i have to make peace with inside of me, and to remind me that pain will make me strong enough to sprawl underneath the heat of light.
let it be said that my speaking about sadness as a comfort is strange, i don't care. for this time, after all my experiences, i have learned to recognize sadness as merely the momentary absence of joy. sadness is a season of my soul.
i have come to terms with this inevitable season, as i skipped along the path i chose to take. and like before, i have once again embraced it fully, exposing myself to a moment of raw vulnerability. and, just like before, i was certain that as furtively as sadness robbed me of joy, it would pass too, unnoticed.
no questions asked, because simply, there was nothing to be done about it, and nothing was required of me but to open my arms to it as it came.
so now, i shall take on whatever joy i have in its fullness; shall suck on every last drop until i have to concede that there's nothing left in the bottle. this time, i will face this joy with the same resilience as when i welcomed my descent into darkness, with the knowledge that it was necessary to face the worst of my fears and to allow my heart to cry out in despair and helplessness.
though i may not see it yet, there is a promise of light. it is there, has always been. that i can see in the dark: the shadows of loss, the wounds of battered hope, tell me that light is indeed there, though in less familiar form.
yes, this sadness is a comfort. i have gotten over the initial distress brought on by the recognition of defeat. nonetheless, i wallow in it, accepting that i will later on find joy by huddling in my sorrow. bathing in sadness is an act of courage i have carry out, to remember the monsters i have to make peace with inside of me, and to remind me that pain will make me strong enough to sprawl underneath the heat of light.
FELINE
Feline
my heart is a shelter
for untamed cats
they are furry and smooth
they scratch and bite too
sometimes,
i let them skip and hop on the porch
of your consciousness
sometimes,
they just jump out
and like you i am caught unaware
and if i have to
i close the door of my heart and hold my breath
hoping you won't hear them purr and mew
inside my chest
but
most of the time,
if i lock them in
they scratch the walls of my heart
most of the time,
i am bleeding inside
and i can't hold them any longer
and as i open the door,
they leap to you
and i am sorry
if you feel their sharp nails too
today you said "i love you"
~ march 17, 2006 ~
today you said "i love you."
last night i almost said it, just like the other day, but i stopped myself. i teetered on the edge. three words so heavy with implication. i just didn't know if i was ready to take that step.
today you said "i love you."
and i let its warmth wash over me. i wanna say it back, my heart screams it. but i fear that if i do, i plunge. and falling is irrevocable.
today you said "i love you."
though i think i feel the same way, i content myself with saying "i miss you" even when i feel my whole being yearning for you.
i miss you.
today you said "i love you."
last night i almost said it, just like the other day, but i stopped myself. i teetered on the edge. three words so heavy with implication. i just didn't know if i was ready to take that step.
today you said "i love you."
and i let its warmth wash over me. i wanna say it back, my heart screams it. but i fear that if i do, i plunge. and falling is irrevocable.
today you said "i love you."
though i think i feel the same way, i content myself with saying "i miss you" even when i feel my whole being yearning for you.
i miss you.