thank you Lord for this nth chance.
life slowly and unceasingly unfolds its petals to reveal more and more opportunities for our own rebirth. this is what i learned last night.
i have always regarded myself as a free spirit. some dear friends whose ties with me link from whence we were children consider me as "the one who jumped off the cliff while they watched comfortably in the shade at the edge of the precipice". yes, i'm a bit subversive, but i view skirting the hems (or sometimes even overstepping the line) of boundaries and limitations a convenient justification to redeem myself for a wrong done by another, and questioning conventional rules and authority an option to enhance my faculty to debate and prove my twisted version of truth.
without knowing exactly when, something happened, that had been a defining moment in my life. the ultimate crossroad. i might even dare to call it maturity, but i would like to believe that i have been given my chains. shackled to the very principles that i longed to uphold yet bold-facedly tried to spite.
i met a man who drew the lines for me. someone who plied me into submission just because of the value of his presence in my life, who taught me that compliance does not necessarily signify being tied, that retaliation does not equal justice, and that freedom is relative not absolute.
last night, the seditious in me threatened to resurface. the lines have long been drawn. but at some point, i had to make a decision. remain bound to the pain of betrayal or offer my anguish to the Supreme Healer. which side of the line i'm staying, is my own choice to make.
after years of indulging in the folly of youth, of doing as i damn well please, of acting on impulse instead of giving things thought, i, this time, submit. to what ought to be done to mend.
healing is impossible if i do not trust His heart. this is what i was told last night. therefore, i shall continue to proudly showcase my scars until i coat myself with courage. i will continue to shed tears and blood until i develop a faith that is deeply rooted as a sequoia. and i will continue to give birth to myself until i... become.
submission is not a form of defeat. retaliation does not always beget justice. letting go is sometimes the best way to hold on.
my chain, my freedom.
my surrender.
love is what is left at the end of the day.
From: melbourne, victoria, Australia
About me: i'm a wanderlust and a warrior of life. i have hordes of nomads and soldiers waiting to wander this sometimes barren and sometimes lush landscape of my head. i send them forth. they are my words. my weapon of choice: purple prose
posted by lei at 2:04 PM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
what you have for me is one with what you are to me
rain has found its way through the ceiling
night strikes its drowsy spell on daytime
cold injects its metals through my pores
heat drinks waters from my veins
crowd prompts laughter
swarms assault
barefoot
i could have had it
and more
if not for the blanket
that is you
night strikes its drowsy spell on daytime
cold injects its metals through my pores
heat drinks waters from my veins
crowd prompts laughter
swarms assault
barefoot
i could have had it
and more
if not for the blanket
that is you
Friday, September 08, 2006
my everdearest louie anne,
i just want you to know that i'm enormously grateful i have you with me on this period of my life, love. and if ever these times are giving you a hard time as well, i am devastated twice..but that's just for a moment. when i see the light skating on the floor of your eyes i am reintegrated.
what i thank you most is that you have jumped into my life and you've never jumped out inspite of this crash. and in weariness, i draw waters from your well.
tayo muna bago ako. remember that night? we have to go through the furnace to acquire pure gold.
irksome moments are just pebbles on the path that is laid before us. i am reverberating what you have said because i want you to know that you are very much appreciated; when you have decided to say-- "i am with you", you can always trust that my hands will never let go.
tis so sweet to learn life with you love.
you are my joy. you are my strength.
yours in times of love and war,
tristan of tanza
what i thank you most is that you have jumped into my life and you've never jumped out inspite of this crash. and in weariness, i draw waters from your well.
tayo muna bago ako. remember that night? we have to go through the furnace to acquire pure gold.
irksome moments are just pebbles on the path that is laid before us. i am reverberating what you have said because i want you to know that you are very much appreciated; when you have decided to say-- "i am with you", you can always trust that my hands will never let go.
tis so sweet to learn life with you love.
you are my joy. you are my strength.
yours in times of love and war,
tristan of tanza
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
a mid-afternoon love note
my dearest kisstan,
things have been going pretty rough lately (with work and other stuff) but it's amazing how we manage to sleep with peace in our hearts the moment we lie down at the end of the day.
you're wonderful. we're wonderful.
whatever fears we both have, i know that we've fully lived the word "surrender" in our lives. so, those fears are just minute details to be nitpicked every once in a while. we have better things to consider, right?
move forward, move on.
i can't wait, love. for our dreams to take on a physical body and become tangible. i'm glad it's you. i'm thankful, each day, for the hope, the promise and the joy that we bring into each other's lives. even during difficult moments.
pray, pray, pray.
i love you. and i love you because................
yours,
louie anne
things have been going pretty rough lately (with work and other stuff) but it's amazing how we manage to sleep with peace in our hearts the moment we lie down at the end of the day.
you're wonderful. we're wonderful.
whatever fears we both have, i know that we've fully lived the word "surrender" in our lives. so, those fears are just minute details to be nitpicked every once in a while. we have better things to consider, right?
move forward, move on.
i can't wait, love. for our dreams to take on a physical body and become tangible. i'm glad it's you. i'm thankful, each day, for the hope, the promise and the joy that we bring into each other's lives. even during difficult moments.
pray, pray, pray.
i love you. and i love you because................
yours,
louie anne